Parents guide to speaking to their child about the UK riots
Are you worried about speaking to your child about the recent riots?
What’s the problem?
How to talk to children about challenging and emotive events is tricky. However, it is important to talk to your child about feelings in light of current news events. When talking to children about tragic news stories you don’t need to have all the answers, and it’s normal to worry about how much to share with them.
Children will likely have heard about the riots taking place in the UK, either from seeing pictures and videos online or hearing others talk about them. Your child might be asking you direct questions, or you might wonder how much they know if they’ve not mentioned these events at all.
How can I help my child?
It is a good idea for parents to raise the subject of what’s happening, even if your child hasn’t mentioned it to you. This will enable you to understand what they know as they could’ve heard misinformation from other sources. Asking children and young people directly about what they’ve heard might help dispel any misconceptions about a particular incident, as they frequently obtain information about it via peers, social media, and other sources. After you learn what your child knows, you can try having a conversation with them to calmly discuss things. Talking about what’s happened will probably help your child as they seek comfort, reassurance, and adult support.
It’s completely natural that you would want to shield your child from bad news and tragic events, but you can still provide a truthful and age-appropriate explanation. You know your child and the level of information they can handle. Children and young people need a truthful explanation that makes sense of the main facts after an incident, which is age appropriate.
How do I get my child to engage in conversation?
- Create a safe and Open Environment
Be approachable: Show that you are open to conversations by being warm and approachable. Use body language that invites discussion.
Non-Judgmental Attitude: Listen without immediately judging or criticizing. Children are more likely to open up if they know they won’t be harshly judged
Active Listening
Give Your Full Attention: Put away distractions like phones, laptops, turn off the tv and give your child your full attention when they are speaking.
Reflective Listening: Repeat back what you hear in your own words to show that you understand and to clarify any misunderstandings.
- Open Ended Questions
Encourage Detailed Responses: Ask questions that require more than a “Yes” or “No” response: Use phrases such as Tell me, Explain, Describe.
Follow Up Questions: Demonstrate interest by asking follow up questions
- Validate Their Feelings:
Acknowledge Emotions: Recognise and validate your child’s feelings. Saying things like, “I understand that must have been really frustrating for you,” shows empathy and understanding
Avoid Dismissing Their Feelings: Don’t dismiss their emotions as trivial, even if they seem minor to you.
- Be Patient
Allow Time: Give them time to open up, especially if they’re not used to talking about their feelings. Be patient and don’t rush the conversation.
Regular Check-Ins: Make it a habit to regularly check in with your child, so they know you are always available for them.
- Be aware of and try to eliminate barriers to effective listening
Feelings: Pity, Horror, Shame, Distress, Embarrassment, Anger, Disgust, Uncertainty, Will I cope? Will I make it worse? Is it true? What next?
Personal: Own pain, Experiences, Memories, Values, Attitudes, Beliefs
External Factors: Practicalities (environment, time, other responsibilities), Knowledge (skills, confidence), Support (availability, resources, repercussions)
What signs of radicalisation should I be alert to?
It’s worth knowing what signs to be alert to, just in case. If you do see these signs, it doesn’t necessarily mean your child is being radicalised – it could be nothing at all, or it could be a sign that something else is wrong.
- Becoming more isolated from friends and family
- Not being willing or able to talk about their views
- Becoming more angry
- Talking as if from a script
- A sudden disrespectful attitude towards others
- Being more secretive, especially about their internet use
If you’re worried about your child, you can contact school and ask to speak with the Designated Safeguarding Lead or contact Childrens Social Work Services or West Yorkshire Police for further support and guidance.
Resources
Worried about extremism and radicalisation? | Family Lives
Parents’ Resources – Educate Against Hate
Protecting children from radicalisation | NSPCC